Yeah, I'm avoiding you.....

I'm avoiding you. and it's a blog. it's not like it talks back to me. *Sigh* I'm losing it. Today is cd42. Yeah, i know, i know..... I'm taking the progesterone to force a period. Fun stuff. It makes my friends think I am even more nuts than normal..... not that it would take much. I need the Christmas Spirit, the joy of the season now more than ever. This stuff can overwhelm and take you over.

Our trees are decorated but the house isn't in it's usual perky self. I can tell it bothers my husband. I'm trying. I really am.

I have the day off on Friday, we see the obgyn. and hopefully i can get some christmas shopping done... wrapping as well.

I am trying. For those that read, thanks.... i love you.

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Cosmic Love

Loving this newer artist (newer to the U.S.) Florence & the Machine. I can't help but get an overwhelming feeling that no matter how bad things are or could get in the future maybe....just maybe everything is going to be alright. I believe this song is trying to hit the listener's spiritual side. my interpretation, others will be different.

my happy ending ladies.

I find myself looking at this journey today and wanting to share with you what happened to me. I was going to edit the hell out of this and delete this entire thing and made a conscious decision not to do so.. why is that? Well, i know what I went through and the amount of online research I did when given many "terms" used in this blog. The "cd" and "ttc" and "BBT" and "clomid" (likely the most evil drug known to man which my body battled and fought for months), "femara" (also evil, used for cancer and ferility ladies), "prometrium" (if u somehow randomly found this in your journey, please send me a message and I'll tell u the hell prometriun is, but that the drug works) "glucophage" (another evil drug, see a trend, also used for diabetics) "IUI", "endometriosis" "PCOS" and "pain" "lonely" "sad". It's 2017. So my world...

Trying to Concieve really sucks...

Today is cd31. I took a hpt this morning & it was negative (and with 2 days until my period - it is 84% reliable so I know I am not pregnant). I'm not having the best morning. I'm sad. I knew I would be. I haven't cried yet (which is amazing if you know me). I am just trying not to think about it.. I have to do my blood test at the hospital in 2 days so then it will be official that this month has come to a terrible ending. I did everything right.. I hate pcos. i hate endometriosis. Song of the day ~ Family Tree

My home is where my story begins.....

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