Trying to remain chill...

Damn, it's HARD.... emotions are up, down & all around in wonder... they call this the 2-week wait..

I'm trying to remain stress-free. My husband will be gone for the weekend but I have things to keep me occupied. I'm going to organize our office, I didn't get to this the last time he was gone.. Netflix is sending me some girl movies.. I am going to do some shopping for some cute work skirts.. and KNITTING... I have wanted to get into my knitting again... never seems like I have the time... but I want to keep my mind occupied.. on the right things.. not on the desire to do a home pregnancy test.. Friend recommended waiting to do it with my husband.... I promised.. because if negative, I might get really emotional and be upset that I am alone...

but seriously, last time he went away, I was a wreck the week before he was heading away... Don't know why.. but this time seems more OK...

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Cosmic Love

Loving this newer artist (newer to the U.S.) Florence & the Machine. I can't help but get an overwhelming feeling that no matter how bad things are or could get in the future maybe....just maybe everything is going to be alright. I believe this song is trying to hit the listener's spiritual side. my interpretation, others will be different.

my happy ending ladies.

I find myself looking at this journey today and wanting to share with you what happened to me. I was going to edit the hell out of this and delete this entire thing and made a conscious decision not to do so.. why is that? Well, i know what I went through and the amount of online research I did when given many "terms" used in this blog. The "cd" and "ttc" and "BBT" and "clomid" (likely the most evil drug known to man which my body battled and fought for months), "femara" (also evil, used for cancer and ferility ladies), "prometrium" (if u somehow randomly found this in your journey, please send me a message and I'll tell u the hell prometriun is, but that the drug works) "glucophage" (another evil drug, see a trend, also used for diabetics) "IUI", "endometriosis" "PCOS" and "pain" "lonely" "sad". It's 2017. So my world...

Trying to Concieve really sucks...

Today is cd31. I took a hpt this morning & it was negative (and with 2 days until my period - it is 84% reliable so I know I am not pregnant). I'm not having the best morning. I'm sad. I knew I would be. I haven't cried yet (which is amazing if you know me). I am just trying not to think about it.. I have to do my blood test at the hospital in 2 days so then it will be official that this month has come to a terrible ending. I did everything right.. I hate pcos. i hate endometriosis. Song of the day ~ Family Tree

My home is where my story begins.....

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