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Showing posts from January, 2009

Into another month

I've just taken my last dose of Clomid for the month. Today is day9. It's frustrating that every month it's the same ole, same ole... trying to get pregnant. I want it so bad. I think it consumes me. and I really don't have friends I can talk about it with. I think even the friends I do tell... it's hard for them to fully understand. I know people care. It is just a lonely feeling.

January is close to an end. but I look at months in terms of my cycles. I know... silly.

I want it so bad it just breaks my heart every month..

I've ignored you...

I've ignored you because I've been having a hard time. The past few weeks have been emotionally and mentally draining to me. Getting upset w/a best friend, feeling let down, wondering why things ARE the way they are, feeling love, feeling as if I overwhelm specific someone's..... I don't know why my head gets all turned upside down. I wear my heart on my sleeve & just wish I didn't always where my heart so much on my sleeve... I try working on things. I am good at taking feedback.

If I was shallow, things would be easier....

but I'm not. I think things through on a deep level and wear my heart on my sleeve. Is it a flaw? maybe. It's just who I am. I'm not shallow, I don't want that. It's not what I need.
I need.... what I really truly need... are friends (likely somewhere out there) that understand me, understand what I need in a good, solid friendship.

People never change.

Why would you ever expect something different from someone when they've always done the same things to you, over and over??
Why would you ever expect them to realize they are in the wrong?
God I'm stupid.

Welcome to 2009!!!

Here's to new beginnings.....