My home is where my story begins.....

"and you say, it'll be alright.. i'm gonna trust you, i'm gonna look in your eyes. I'd follow you into the light." this song makes me cry which naturally makes it my song of the day.. I feel pretty closed off, closed down right now.. It's a rainy day in Michigan and from someone at home, who left their job 5 weeks ago for reasons I can't write about just yet, I think I will read.. I've got a pile right now. I'm reading "Heart of the Matter" by Emily Giffin who is very good.

Trevor came to get me. I was frozen, really. Nothing could get me to walk out on my own. And I cried. I cried for the loss..

Doesn't matter what I want..... as a social worker.. this makes me wish and then feel sad I can't save all of them... doesn't matter what I need.. or if I cry..... this song just makes me think of my job... and the people I cannot save.. no matter how much I Want too..

I'd give anything for a baby.. will be seeing new Fertility Doctor tomorow.

I will follow you into the dark... I hope to always be this close..

We officially have an appointment with a new RE doctor Thursday July 22.2010 I cannot believe i am even excited about THIS as progress but I am since I have waited so long!

I won't be taken advantage of. I won't be used. I am so much stronger that than. I'm more than something to be used when "needed".... Change is coming.. "you're not sorry anymore"..... The lyrics spell it all out... "I've been giving out chances every time And all you do is let me down" "and it's taken me this long, but I've figured you out." It's just time to move on...