My home is where my story begins.....

We met with our RE today... all she did was read our file.. I just started my period yesterday and thought we would try a treatment this month but the appointment was absolute frustration... we got nowhere... It made me want to scream.... so another appointment scheduled... another month wasted... no treatments this month...

and it comes when you least expect....

The random thoughts that pop into my head... the feelings of loss over friendships.. the desire to have that one true close friend that I can bare my soul too as I began this long process over the next several months... It seems I've trusted too easily, gotten burned by people and greatly want the one friend who gets me.... don't we all?? I wish more people understood me. I wish there was a support group for PCOS and/or endometriosis and those ladies trying to concieve... I got somewhat emotional today so tomorrow is a new day and I will make sure to get a better handle on it..... after all, the weekend begins tomorrow... Dear Friend, wherever you are, I need you......

Confusion.....Mistakes..... Things I wish I hadn't said... We're not meant to be perfect. I can own up for my own mistakes... so much is unknown.. I love my close friend. I don't know how to fix it all.. The picture here of the woman lying in the water truly depicts how I feel regarding this situation. It hurts. It hurts to know someone loves you. that they would do anything for you... and I don't know what to do to fix it. I feel like the eyes in this painting are staring down at me telling me "you messed this up". I wish the many pairs of eyes would give me advice... tell me what to do.... It's been a rough few weeks. I've closed myself down. I barely let anyone in anymore, so much going on with all my fertility stuff... seeing my fertility doctor on april 30th. I'm hopeful. :)

Met with the fertility doctors today for the first time. Not much will happen this month as my husband needs his sperm analysis done first which isn't until late in the month. We will meet with the doctor again on April 30th.