My home is where my story begins.....

Ok, I started my period this morning. Light spotting.. but it's here... which means I won't have to take the remainder of the prometrium... next up, a pregnancy test at the lab to confirm I am not pregnant... make appointment to get into our Fertility doctor for day 3 (Tuesday?) and then we're starting Femara...

"If you love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." ~ Anon..... When you love... and know they want to fly... do you let them go?? Love means something different to everyone... I love many people in my life... Do I open myself too easily?? Oh, probably... The amount of times I've been burned by " friends" you'd think I would learn.. I've never wanted to be that cold-hearted girl.. I always wanted to be the girl who gave chance after chance... I recently made the realization that some people will never change and I'm wasting my time. It hurts. It's not even a matter of letting them fly away to see if they return.... now those people.... ah... those people... Let them fly... Let them go... if it was love.... if it was meant to be someone who is supposed to be in your life.. they will return... if they don't.... there is your answer... You can never hold onto people because you like

Work has been pretty stressful.. too much to do, too little time.. I separate work stuff from my personal life really well but sometimes they can intersect.. when I find out things that bother me to the core... finding out (for the 2nd time) that people fake liking you can really impact your mind, ability to get things done. I'm very devoted to my job. I just need some days off and I mean a little longer than the upcoming weekend....

So I think we actually got somewhat of a plan for our next cycle. I will be starting a drug called Femara . This medication is supposed to be stronger than the nasty Clomid and will hopefully get me to ovulate properly. They will monitor me more closely and do ultrasounds to pinpoint when I am about to ovulate. Overall, a decent appointment. I will have to take that nasty prometrium to jumpstart my period though if it does not arrive on it own... Yuck! I'm having some hope now that we are moving along in this process a little more...

Love this song. It's sexy dirty, right to the point.....

I almost turn into a crazy person actually. I have never lived alone and my husband only goes away once in awhile. I don't sleep well. I can't take sleeping pills to knock me out & only this morning I realized I should have taken Benadryl (duh!!). I drive people insane when I'm home alone. Should have had some wine this weekend.. maybe I will today while I am cleaning,organizing stuff. *shrug* Knowing hubby will be in my bed tonight, however late he arrives is a good feeling. Cuddling with my kitties helped last night.. I was able to get Norah to snuggle close while I fell asleep.

Ok, so let's get real.. i Mostly blog about my fertility issues, friends, etc.... Let's talk sex... I laugh.. I smile.. and I play... I grew up in a really small town and never had sex in high school... *honestly* I mean, who lies to their own blog that nobody even reads?? Now that I'm 30... I'm embracing sex and enjoying it. I'm married so why the hell not?? Forget the damn taboos society tries to sink into our minds... and lastly.... click here for an awesome look at the 8 kinds of sex every couple should try..

May 19th is our next appointment.... Here is hoping this appointment will go better.

"It would feel so good, To be so bad... You don't know how bad...I want that..." I never said I wasn't a naughty girl.... ;)

It feels good to have that best friend.. even from when we were just little people in the world, knowing nothing but playing, laughing and being care-free.. It was brought to my attention that I need to get back to being more care-free... have I lost something inside myself that I vowed would never lose? It shouldn't be hard.. a best friend makes your life easier.. they make you want to play & laugh at the silliest things when you need it.... especially when you need it the most... " A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should" ~Author Unknown

Husband going away for the weekend... how will I occupy my weekend?? I'm not great at being alone..

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip I think this will say something different to everyone.... I know what it means to me... Love I want, Love I need... and the fear of losing it...

faith is believing faith is being strong faith is being believeable faith is believing in what you can become ~~brandi reissig~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ I need my cherished friends and those I trust/love now.... more than ever... If you read this... know I need you... It may not seem like it all the time.. but I do.

but this is what it is for me today... i've changed... I trust less.. and because of that, i tend to close up for fear of overwhelming others... which leads to loneliness... if you read... i need you... more now than ever before...

This song is about feeling connected to home... Home can be many things to different people... I can feel at home, truly at peace with the ones I love... home is what connects you.... VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

They are like... what is THIS about?? what prompted it?? uh... nothing... I have a heart, I like to tell people they mean something to me.... no ulterior motive... sigh..

I think this will say something different to everyone....

We're seeing the doctor next on May 19th,09. I *guess* we're going to be talking about IUI procedures according to the nurses although that office is confusing me more and more... It's frustrating... I don't know if we are going left,right,up or down.... all support needed... also posting as Hometown Girl at The Mommy Playbook . It's a great site with lots of information and support for others going through infertility...

More and More... I feel I can trust less and less people... The ones I CAN trust... i find myself loving more.... why do people feel the need to lie, deceive and break your trust? It is making me that much more closed up in who I trust... if the ones I trust now deceived me, it would just break my heart...