Before the night is through, I wanna do bad things with you

that was it..

Trevor came to get me. I was frozen, really. Nothing could get me to walk out on my own. And I cried. I cried for the loss..

Today is February 9th, 2011. & this is where I am.

I'm much better. well, most days. It's been 5 months and about 10 days. I do not keep track. I try to forget the entire debacle. I miss her. I wonder about her. Today, I re-gained some of the power I had thought I lost in my heart. She told me she loved me & knows the whole story. I said nothing. I can't. But the knowing, just the knowing.. wow.

The Light..

"and you say, it'll be alright.. i'm gonna trust you, i'm gonna look in your eyes. I'd follow you into the light." this song makes me cry which naturally makes it my song of the day.. I feel pretty closed off, closed down right now.. It's a rainy day in Michigan and from someone at home, who left their job 5 weeks ago for reasons I can't write about just yet, I think I will read.. I've got a pile right now. I'm reading "Heart of the Matter" by Emily Giffin who is very good.

My home is where my story begins.....

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