My home is where my story begins.....

Crying yourself to sleep??? That's where I'm at tonight... I feel Completely... utterly... alone.... goodnight....

I don't ask for THAT much really...... people freaking confuse me... some days I reach that point where I just feel lost.

In a nutshell..... a) I despise the xbox 360. my husband hasn't left the damned thing all day.... ugh b) silence sucks.... c) I hate when my Spartans lose.. d) my husband doesn't like "pink" nailpolish on me.. :( (got a manicure yesterday morning) e) silence sucks....... f) the weekends are NEVER long enough... --oh... and this is my blog so I can complain if I want.......

The week is finally over... I need a stress-free weekend...

So... I apparently have nothing for follicles this month... from what I understand, anyhow.. this lady makes no sense to me.. i'm getting so fed up. I took my husband this time because I am so fed up with the lack of plan.. she must have told me (3) different things today... Ugh... I had a major meltdown in a co-worker's office (who was supportive.. and I try to hide this crap at work the best I can). I wish there was a different doctor I could see... I researched.. and found that there IS another one in Lansing however he works 1 half-day per week... yuck.... in my meltdown mode... i touched base with my boss... god love her.. she completely understands... and this is a CRAZY week at work to say the least... I reached out to my sister-in-law who has been this... and she recommended this book: A Few Good Eggs I went ahead and ordered " The Conception Chronicles " God knows I need some laughter in my life dealing with this... I confused as hell... sad.. trying to keep

I generally use lyrics to process my feelings.... lots to post this week... bad week at the Fertility office... and I want to write down my feelings here... I'll add more later..... a new CD by Ingrid Michaelson just came out... and this song "Are we There yet?" just GOT me.... it can be viewed by different people in many ways I realize... but some of the lyrics brought me to tears thinking of the baby I am yet to have..... "They say you're really not somebody Until somebody else loves you Well, I am waiting to make somebody Somebody soon " ~Ingrid Michaelson...

I apparently have (1) follicle, very small... going back this Wednesday.. this office drives me insane.. there never is a plan... I'm going to try to take my husband this Wednesday for support.

Not pregnant... again..... already on cd 8 in my new cycle.... that last cycle was SO hard to take for me... I REALLY had hope... i feel defeated. the tears were the hardest this time... I don't know why, it's the same EVERY month... why me?? I want to be a mommy so bad... is it ever going to happen for me? I hate infertility, I hate PCOS... and I HATE endometriosis...