Monday, September 21, 2009

ever feel like this?


Crying yourself to sleep??? That's where I'm at tonight...

I feel Completely... utterly... alone....

goodnight....

Ok, so......


I don't ask for THAT much really......

people freaking confuse me...


some days I reach that point where I just feel lost.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

In a nutshell.....

a) I despise the xbox 360.
my husband hasn't left the damned thing all day.... ugh
b) silence sucks....
c) I hate when my Spartans lose..
d) my husband doesn't like "pink" nailpolish on me.. :(
(got a manicure yesterday morning)
e) silence sucks.......
f) the weekends are NEVER long enough...


--oh... and this is my blog so I can complain if I want.......

Friday, September 18, 2009

Yeah, so, umm.. whatever...


The week is finally over... I need a stress-free weekend...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


So... I apparently have nothing for follicles this month... from what I understand, anyhow.. this lady makes no sense to me.. i'm getting so fed up. I took my husband this time because I am so fed up with the lack of plan.. she must have told me (3) different things today... Ugh... I had a major meltdown in a co-worker's office (who was supportive.. and I try to hide this crap at work the best I can). I wish there was a different doctor I could see... I researched.. and found that there IS another one in Lansing however he works 1 half-day per week... yuck....

in my meltdown mode... i touched base with my boss... god love her.. she completely understands... and this is a CRAZY week at work to say the least...

I reached out to my sister-in-law who has been this... and she recommended this book:
A Few Good Eggs









I went ahead and ordered "The Conception Chronicles"









God knows I need some laughter in my life dealing with this... I confused as hell... sad.. trying to keep it together...

and I think I need a month off the fertility drugs... I really need a break from this...

I've been in (2) car accidents in a month... sigh..... long story...

"Are we there yet?"

I generally use lyrics to process my feelings.... lots to post this week... bad week at the Fertility office... and I want to write down my feelings here... I'll add more later.....

a new CD by Ingrid Michaelson just came out... and this song "Are we There yet?" just GOT me.... it can be viewed by different people in many ways I realize... but some of the lyrics brought me to tears thinking of the baby I am yet to have.....

"They say you're really not somebody
Until somebody else loves you
Well, I am waiting to make somebody
Somebody soon" ~Ingrid Michaelson...


Monday, September 14, 2009

Crappy Appointment...

I apparently have (1) follicle, very small... going back this Wednesday.. this office drives me insane.. there never is a plan... I'm going to try to take my husband this Wednesday for support.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Not pregnant... again.....

already on cd 8 in my new cycle.... that last cycle was SO hard to take for me... I REALLY had hope...

i feel defeated. the tears were the hardest this time... I don't know why, it's the same EVERY month...

why me?? I want to be a mommy so bad... is it ever going to happen for me?

I hate infertility, I hate PCOS... and I HATE endometriosis...

;;