Skip to main content

Life, Love...... and Family.



Life, Love and Family....


All on my mind today, readers..... all of which readers include one.... my husband. I can get so down sometimes when things don't go the way I expect & feel lost. Like I should know more about who I am at 3o (yikes! just TURNED 30).

There is so much I love about my life and yet, so much I don't. I'm lucky. I know this. I have amazing friends and a supportive family.

Something seems missing.

Is is the baby I so desperately want to have? I was an only child.. at times I liked & times I didn't. My parents divorced when I graduated high school and I felt completely alone, confused and depressed (totally dumped by my first love)

I met my husband (to be known as T in this blog) in my second year of college. I remember crying so much as I felt in the middle of their divorce. I will never forget the evening he held me as I was crying about their fighting and said "I feel like I have no family now"... I will never forget that night. It was one of the first times of many I fell in Love with T. He said "I'm your family. I will always be your family". It was a moment one does not forget.
T made me feel safe, hopeful and loved as well as excited for the future.

My parents later remarried and this made me incredibly happy. It felt like my family was back together. and to my happiness, they remarried before my wedding to T which was of the most amazing days of my life. T kept his promise.... he IS my family. But I desire more. I want the baby. The medical problems have not allowed us to get pregnant yet. My hope is once completely healed from my surgery we can start to try again to create the family he told me so long ago we would have.

What brought this to my mind today? I was home with my parents, my dad having had a heart procedure yesterday where they thought he had blockage again. Luckily he did not have any blockage and came home. He was weak today. It's so hard to be an only child and deal with parents getting older & having health concerns. They are all I have. T is my family. My parents are so close to me. It's scary when they are weak. It makes me feel so helpless...
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cosmic Love

Loving this newer artist (newer to the U.S.) Florence & the Machine. I can't help but get an overwhelming feeling that no matter how bad things are or could get in the future maybe....just maybe everything is going to be alright. I believe this song is trying to hit the listener's spiritual side. my interpretation, others will be different.
Post a Comment
Read more

my happy ending ladies.

I find myself looking at this journey today and wanting to share with you what happened to me. I was going to edit the hell out of this and delete this entire thing and made a conscious decision not to do so.. why is that?  Well, i know what I went through and the amount of online research I did when given many "terms" used in this blog. The "cd" and "ttc" and "BBT" and "clomid" (likely the most evil drug known to man which my body battled and fought for months), "femara" (also evil, used for cancer and ferility ladies), "prometrium" (if u somehow randomly found this in your journey, please send me a message and I'll tell u the hell prometriun is, but that the drug works) "glucophage" (another evil drug, see a trend, also used for diabetics) "IUI", "endometriosis"  "PCOS" and "pain" "lonely" "sad".   It's 2017. So my world...
Post a Comment
Read more

hi.

So hi there.. i am just finishing a three-day weekend. Just doesn't seem long enough. Not feeling completely motivated to start my week because it is going to be really insane again but I know I have to approach the stress a different way. I had a good day. Went to the spa. Got my hair cut & highlighted.. I really needed it.. Also got my eyebrows waxed and something else waxed.. haha.. Hey, I'll try anything once... that's my philosophy. My husband asked me 3 times today if I ordered the fertility monitor so I ordered it tonight from amazon -2 day shipping for free... so it will be here for my next cycle.. It would be a shock if this cycle ended in pregnancy. I'm so pessimistic now.. I hope this monitor helps us with knowing when our peak fertile days are. It was nice to see him so eager for me to order this. And my song of the day: Chasing Pirates by Norah Jones.. because well, i feel this way sometimes late at night... Beautiful Lyrics: "In your message you ...
Post a Comment
Read more