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Growth.


Growth....

I feel like I am growing in the direction of a new beginning. I'm scared, nervous and excited about the start of the fertility medication tomorrow night. I've been waiting for over a year to finally be at this point where we can begin this stage of our journey.

In a way, I feel like crying. Not for any specific reason that I can think of really... just that the process as a whole involves several emotions for me.

I'm trying to be more private about things than I have in the past. Going to be relaxing as much as possible over the next 5 days while we start Clomid.

Luckily, we're going on a mini-vacation from Friday night to Tuesday. We'll be heading up to Mackinac Island, staying at the Windemere Bed&Breakfast. We're heading up there with 2 other couples of which we are close friends with. The past 6 weeks have been crazy and I think this is just what we need right now.

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Today is February 9th, 2011. & this is where I am.

I'm much better. well, most days. It's been 5 months and about 10 days. I do not keep track. I try to forget the entire debacle. I miss her. I wonder about her. Today, I re-gained some of the power I had thought I lost in my heart. She told me she loved me & knows the whole story. I said nothing. I can't. But the knowing, just the knowing.. wow.