Trying not to think about TTC on vacation is tough. I am on cd26 so in the middle of that 2WW... well, really one week left to wait.... I SHOULD be super excited.. my parents ordered our christmas present... I'm going to spend all week in Disney World and relaxing at the pool but I still have my mind on whether or not I am pregnant. It's a sucky thing, I know... but it's only natural to wonder but my initial feeling is I am not pregnant. I dunno, I try to be hopeful....
Time.... I'd never imagined it would end like this. In time, something new will grow. How long will it take to feel it? I don't know how to be something that will grow right now. I hope to see the sunshine, lay down on the ground, stare up at the sky and think about what is next. I didn't think I'd live like this..... Time... growth. My days used to revolve around you... Who had a sick need to give... and take it ALL away. I look back with regret.. Why didn't I see this?? I see it all now. Every little piece. i still remember the look on your face when I woke you... i can still feel your energy.. I don't know how to be something that you'll miss.. It's your smile and love I will forever remember... I hope I am something you will miss.. I hope I made an impact on your beautiful life. I will remember the moments...
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