Skip to main content

Wait, do you see my heart on my sleeve?


"I've been trying to tell you... say that it's always been me... that I am all you need... and you never want more... Seems like I love the things you do..." ~ Adele.

"And we'll say all of the right things without a clue
And you'll be the one for me and me the one for you" ~ Adele.

I love the lyrics to this song. I think it's about a relationship gone wrong but I choose to pick the lyrics that resonate in my heart.

Today was a sad day. confusing.. T and I talked about christmas gifts... I said all I really wanted was to be pregnant. nothing else. Can I just have that one thing? It's not like I don't pray for it all the time... I want it so bad.

~~~~~~~~

I'm the girl with everything... so tell me what is wrong with me?? I feel like not a soul understands how I feel.

My god the loneliness is almost too much to bear for me. I cry so easily nowadays.

I should be so happy, I truly AM the girl with everything, I should be stronger than this.. but I'm not. I feel so weak. It feels like the fight of my life.

All I have ever wanted is a family. Being an only child, I never felt like I had "that" family you see people with..

my husband is as supportive as he can be... and the friends whom are aware also try to be supportive but this is a lonely process, no matter how many times friends offer their hugs&kind words. They don't get it.

It's another long week ahead for me... I promised a friend I'd do a TV interview for their studio tomorrow night... wished I'd said NO... and I have a big presentation at work on Thursday evening that isn't prepared... I just want a day to myself to cry. My vacation is 11 days - I've prepared nothing for Orlando & we will be there 10 days. I'm not even excited.

and dear readers, I know... none... today is cd12. According to the clomid calculator, it's the week to really start trying. There is my hope. My bloodwork for the month will be 2 days before our trip so I should get a call on vacation on the status of my progesterone levels. Wish me luck!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It's been 8 weeks and a day...

Time.... I'd never imagined it would end like this. In time, something new will grow. How long will it take to feel it? I don't know how to be something that will grow right now. I hope to see the sunshine, lay down on the ground, stare up at the sky and think about what is next. I didn't think I'd live like this..... Time... growth. My days used to revolve around you... Who had a sick need to give... and take it ALL away. I look back with regret.. Why didn't I see this?? I see it all now. Every little piece. i still remember the look on your face when I woke you... i can still feel your energy.. I don't know how to be something that you'll miss.. It's your smile and love I will forever remember... I hope I am something you will miss.. I hope I made an impact on your beautiful life. I will remember the moments...

The Light..

"and you say, it'll be alright.. i'm gonna trust you, i'm gonna look in your eyes. I'd follow you into the light." this song makes me cry which naturally makes it my song of the day.. I feel pretty closed off, closed down right now.. It's a rainy day in Michigan and from someone at home, who left their job 5 weeks ago for reasons I can't write about just yet, I think I will read.. I've got a pile right now. I'm reading "Heart of the Matter" by Emily Giffin who is very good.