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Father's Day....


A little easier to handle since it's a 'dad' day.... we had our large family here... my husband's brother just had twins - they had to do IVF to get their twins... but one was sick, one was here. I had about 11 people here... I just love my little nieces.. I just want to hold them and hold them... Only one was here.. but here I was, saw they were here, I went out to get the baby out of the car.. yeah, i know... i hadn't seen her in a month. they will soon be 6 months. The more I hold her, the more I want one... sigh... I do well for a certain time period... then I get a little emotional.. try to keep it in check (YES - i AM working on that) but i want to be a mommy so bad..

here is a photo of my hair... well, the last cut, not this one.. but it's a general idea of the style.

I'm also thinking of getting a bikini wax... we'll see....

Prometrium makes me so tired.. and is affecting my temps - but I Was told not to worry. I really hope that's true.

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It's been 8 weeks and a day...

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Today is February 9th, 2011. & this is where I am.

I'm much better. well, most days. It's been 5 months and about 10 days. I do not keep track. I try to forget the entire debacle. I miss her. I wonder about her. Today, I re-gained some of the power I had thought I lost in my heart. She told me she loved me & knows the whole story. I said nothing. I can't. But the knowing, just the knowing.. wow.